Learning a New Language in Real Life: Creative Ways to Practice — and the Identity Shift No One Talks About
Growing up in the States made me a lover of cereal, national parks, Target, and … English! Yes, English became my first real love language: I loved using language for witty banter, humor, reading and to explore my inner world. Many years later as I tried to learn other languages I realized how cemented English felt to my overall identity and how uncomfortable speaking another language felt. In my experience, English was my favorite pair of comfortable jeans (my very own Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants pants!), while speaking Spanish or French felt like a pair of stiff pleather pants, they weren’t flattering nor comfortable. As time went on I started to doubt my capacity to fluently speak another language “It’s like everything gets filtered through my English brain!” I cried to my husband as he insisted I should try harder or as Nike would say “Just do it!” Easy for him to say as a trilingual speaker of English, French, and Spanish who grew up speaking all three languages. I also confess when I moved to Europe, I was très jealous of my European counterparts in my Sustainable Fashion master’s program who so naturally switched between two — three — four different languages!
Fast forward multiple years later after moving back to Mexico City, I can confidently say I have managed to progress my Spanish significantly and can hold my own quite well out in the world sans English. I know nothing will ever quite feel as validating and eloquent as my dear sweet English, but I now go long stretches of the day speaking only Spanish and even sometimes even get stuck in Spanish mode when I travel to the U.S. from Mexico. Many a TSA agent in America has gotten a “buenos dias” or “gracias” from me.
This progress in my language skills has happened naturally from living in a world steeped in Spanish as well as, some intentional steps I have taken to learn and improve my Spanish. Here are some of the creative ways to pick up a new language that doesn’t involve your typical advice of: “Have you tried taking classes?” or “You should download Duolingo!”
pick up that kindle or EBOOK stat
My friend who visited me a few years ago inspired me to start reading in Spanish. They also gave me great advice of choosing a book at your level and one that you are familiar with and know the general plot points so you can focus on learning the language and not so much learning the narrative. For me the perfect series came to mind: Harry Potter. I am on the fifth book in the series, and the wizarding world is going strong but this time in Spanish and this time from my Kindle. Reading from your phone, ipad, or Kindle makes looking up words, translating, highlighting all super quick and easy without ever leaving the ebook. This daily habit of reading and absorbing Spanish vocabulary is just one way that I believe I am improving my language skills and challenging my mind.
make friends with someone you can’t default to your native language with
One of my close friends in Mexico City is actually someone I can only speak Spanish with. I met her in my Spanish class when I first moved to Mexico and we got along great. Funny enough, she didn’t speak my native language (English) nor did I speak hers (Portuguese). Therefore Spanish became our common language and forced me outside my comfort zone to speak the language I am not as comfortable speaking. Sometimes you need a little nudge to move forward and sometimes you need more of a shove. Furthermore, if you can learn to let go and just go along with the ride sometimes you will end up exactly where you need to be and with exactly whom you need to be with. One last note: if fear is what is stopping you from trying, remember that many times we are the ones with the harshest judgments of ourselves, not the other way around.
go back to kindergarten
What an interesting experience I am having raising my daughter in a foreign country and having her primary language be one that is not mine. Our current dynamic is I talk to her in English and she responds back to me in Spanish. My husband and I are simultaneously teaching our daughter English and Spanish at the same time, but given she is exposed to more Spanish than English, Spanish appears to be her dominant language. And while sometimes it feels a little strange to have this setup. I find it quite special that I am learning Spanish alongside her. Additionally, when I take her to her toddler stimulation classes or social events I am learning a lot of the basics from being in attendance of these classes. There are lots of songs, instructions, and activities all taught in Spanish and explained in a very simplistic way intended for young children. Sometimes for the sake of growth and for the sake of learning it is best to swallow our ego and realize that we are not too good for rudimentary ways of learning and to be open to learning a language in ways you didn’t expect: like going to toddler classes in another language. Side note: I never would have thought that I could grow to like Spanish toddler music, but here we are listening to some very catchy music that we all sing along to. Shout out to Luli Pampin an Argentine music artist who has a gift for creating some pretty spectacular Spanish children’s music.
Consume media in a way that supports learning
We all have shows we watch, music and podcasts we listen to, and articles and stories we read every day. Within all these spaces there are simple switches or steps we can take to create more opportunities for learning. For example, on Netflix or the streaming platform you watch, many times you can change your audio or subtitles to a different language. I like to alternate between some days changing the subtitles and other days changing the audio, so I am getting exposure to both written and spoken Spanish in the shows I watch. Also, we can elect to listen to more music and podcasts in a different language or about a theme such as learning languages. We can try and read more books or articles in a foreign language or also follow accounts and people that support that vision. Overall, the way we show up in the digital world is just one way we can help ourselves learn new languages.
immersion helps but isn’t magic
The final and perhaps most comprehensive advice is to immerse yourself in the language. As many already know one of the best ways (if you have the means and opportunity) to accomplish this is to travel or live overseas. However, something else I have learned is that even if you take the trips or make the move, learning a whole language doesn’t happen overnight it is a process and one that goes at different paces for different people. When I first started living overseas in 2021 in Italy and then later to Mexico I think I believed that these languages would just come naturally and fairly easily after a certain amount of time. But the hard truth I have confronted is that learning a new language as an adult takes time, commitment, and effort. I still am not at the level of Spanish I want to be at, but at the same time it is a daily reckoning with not wanting to give up my English completely because I am teaching my daughter English and as a writer the way I express myself matters and speaking English feels like ME. Also, my language is one of the last bits of me that I get to hold onto as someone who lives in a foreign place with a life that is vastly different from what I am used to. I’m giving myself permission to hold onto what makes me feel safe and feel like home. So if you are also trying to learn a language remember to be gentle on yourself and tell yourself you are not behind, you are right on time. The goal doesn’t have to be replacing one linguistic identity with another. It can be expanding your world while still holding onto the language that feels most like home. Furthermore, I’m learning that fluency doesn’t have to mean leaving my first language behind. I can keep pushing myself further into Spanish while also allowing English to remain the language in which I feel most articulate, most expressive, and perhaps most like myself.